Now that you are engaged and planning on getting married, there are certain conversations that you should be having with your partner if you haven't done so already. We care about your relationship and your happiness, so we put together a list of conversations that you should be having now that you are engaged to help you get the ball rolling. Communication is one of the biggest aspects of a relationship and you should be able to talk to your partner about anything. We suggest writing down any questions or conversation topics that you would like to have with your partner. By writing them down, you aren't going to forget what you want to talk about.
1. Communication is key
Figure out the way you and your partner communicate. Relationships aren’t always roses and sunshine. Relationships take a lot of work and communication should be at the foundation of your relationship. So, figuring out the way you and your partner communicate is key. Even if your relationship has been roses and sunshine up to this point, eventually a disagreement is going to surface. Having good communication will be the foundation for a successful marriage!
Figure out your and your partner’s love languages. This is a great form of communication and will greatly improve your relationship. To figure out your love language, click the link below to take the quiz.
2. Money honey
Are you a penny pincher or do you love shopping? Fact: A couple’s financial priorities hardly ever line up. This is why making this conversation a priory is very important. Do you prefer going out with friends, or would you rather stay with your partner to save money? Some other financial things you should talk about are credit score, and debts, such as credit cards, student loans, taxes, etc. Do we both know where our important financial documents are located?
3. Goals & Priorities
What are your and your partner’s goals? Do you have a bucket list of must-dos? Are you the type of person that can’t live without traveling? Do you plan on buying a home together? Setting goals together can help solidify your marriage and make you and your partner that much closer.
4. Do we plan on having kids?
Talking to your future spouse about where you see your family growing, or staying, is a conversation that absolutely should happen before you get married. You can certainly change your mind over time, but having an open and honest talk from the beginning is the way to go. Remember tip #1, communication? Also, not only if you will have kids, but how do you plan to raise them? Will one of you be a stay-at-home parent, will you use daycare, etc.
5. Family Obligations / Friends
Let’s face it, once you are married, you are going to have in-laws, for better or for worse. So when it comes to the holidays, where are you going to be spending your time. For example, some families make Christmas a huge priority while others do not. Now that you are no longer on your own, making the difficult decision about where you plan on spending the holidays can be stressful and complicated, but if you communicate about it with your partner, it will make telling the in-laws your holiday plans that much easier.
Do you have a girl’s night each week or once per month? Do you tell your best friend everything? Remember, you are marrying your best friend, so it’s best to communicate what your expectations are for managing quality time together throughout the week. Once you are married, maintaining friendships might be difficult. Encourage each other to maintain your friendships that support a healthy marriage.
6. The Past
When you are planning for your wedding, it’s very important to talk about the past if you haven’t already done so. No matter if your past is filled with hope or tainted with pain, you need to get real with where you come from. Experiences, past relationships, and family history are some of the things that have shaped you and should be discussed so that you can join together and move forward.
7. Secrets
If you still have secrets, now is the time to come clean, as uncomfortable as that might be. As you look ahead to marriage, there is no better time than now to share any remaining secrets that you may have. From health problems to mental health concerns, family secrets, to personal choices, this is the time to share all things big or small. This will pave the way for openness and honesty as you build the foundation of your relationship
8. Boundaries
What are boundaries? On the surface, boundaries are your views on what is not okay and what is okay when it comes to your relationship and your marriage. What are the boundaries like with friends of the opposite sex, past boyfriends and girlfriends, and family members? How will we guard our emotions, protect our time, and prevent our bodies from negative interactions with others? Setting boundaries is essential for a happy marriage.
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